The Middle Passage & Finding Your True Self: A Journey Through Career & Identity Shifts
Estimated read time: 6 minutes
Welcome to My Musings - where I share insights that have impacted me, thoughts on personal growth, and actionable strategies to help you navigate career and life transitions.
Today: How one book keeps revealing new lessons at every stage of life.
The Middle Passage - A Book That Changes With You
One of the most impactful books I’ve ever read is The Middle Passage by James Hollis. Hollis, a Jungian analyst, left his first career in midlife, moved to Zurich, and trained in Jungian psychology. That kind of radical reinvention alone makes him worth paying attention to.
The first time I read this book, I was 29. I was a lawyer, single, doing well, but there was already an itch - an internal restlessness I couldn’t quite name. My therapist, who recommended the book, recognized what was happening: I was hitting my “midlife crisis” early (or, let’s call it a quarter-life crisis).
The second time I read The Middle Passage, I was in my late 30s. I was still practicing law, but now I was approaching 40, married, expecting my first child, and feeling the weight of everything that came with it - responsibilities, expectations, stability. And yet, despite things looking good on paper, I still had this nagging sense that my work wasn’t what I was meant to be doing. I felt called to something else - something bigger, maybe, but more importantly, something truer.
Now, I’m reading it again. This time, I’ve already made the big leap - I left my law career (3 years ago this month!), started another business, and I’m seeing the contours of a reshaped professional identity take form.
But, for better or worse, transformation doesn’t end when you change careers. The questions keep coming. The uncertainty doesn’t disappear. The challenge of stepping into a more authentic life remains.
And so, I thought: Why not take you through this book with me as I read it again?
Each month, I’ll write about one chapter - my thoughts, my reactions, and the conversations it sparks in my own life. I invite you to read along, share your thoughts, and let’s make this a discussion.
What Is the Middle Passage?
Is it just a midlife crisis? Or is it something bigger?
Hollis describes it as “a summons from within to move from the provisional life to true adulthood - from the false self to authenticity.”
That’s a big idea.
The Provisional Life
Does this mean that, until now, we’ve been living a life that isn’t real? If so, what the hell have we been doing?
Hollis explains that the provisional life is an unconscious way of being - a set of strategies we adopt in childhood to manage uncertainty and secure a place in the world. It’s not who we are but how we were conditioned to see life and make choices.
And where does that conditioning come from?
It comes from the lens through which we’ve been taught to see the world - our parents, our neighbors, our friends, our inherited “stuff.” All of it impacts how we look at, and respond to, the world around us.
When the Lens Changes
If you’re reading this, I assume you need glasses. And if you don’t, and you’re unfamiliar with this phenomenon - well, I’m sorry.
Anyhow…
Ever had your prescription updated and suddenly realized how blurry things were before? You put on your new glasses and everything sharpens. You notice details you never saw before.
That’s what The Middle Passage is like. It’s unsettling, sometimes even painful, because it reveals how much we’ve been seeing through someone else’s script.
The discomfort of this transition - the uncertainty, the questioning, the feeling of “I don’t know who I am anymore” - isn’t a sign that something is wrong. It’s proof that something real is trying to emerge.
Walking Through the Passage
There’s a line from one of my daughter’s favorite books that I keep coming back to:
“We can’t go over it, we can’t go under it… we’ll just have to go through it.”
This is The Middle Passage in a nutshell.
You can’t bypass this transition. You can’t outthink it. The only way forward is through.
“I Don’t Know Who I Am Anymore.”
I’ve had clients - community leaders, business owners, highly accomplished professionals—sit across from me and say those exact words.
From the outside, these people have it together. They’ve built careers, families, reputations. They’re successful by every standard that should make them feel secure.
And yet, something cracks open.
They start realizing that the version of themselves they’ve been living - the one that got them here - isn’t the real them. And when that realization hits, the immediate question becomes:
“If I’m not that person… then who the hell am I?”
This is where things can get tricky. Because when we resist this passage - when we avoid the uncertainty, when we refuse to let go of the old identity - we don’t stop the process. We just get stuck in it.
And that’s where the real trouble begins.
Want to Read Along?
If any of this resonates, read The Middle Passage with me. Let’s unpack it together. Grab a copy, share your thoughts, and let’s talk. If you don’t know where to find it, check out Caversham Booksellers in Toronto.
Want to Go Deeper?
I work with people and teams to confidently meet change at work and in life, foster cultures of mentorship, and hone soft skills to create better leaders. Through that work, folks uncover their deeper purpose, navigate challenging transitions, and answer the call to vocation.
If you’d like to explore what’s coming up for you, get in touch.
I hope this week’s edition has been helpful. See you next week!
