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Welcome to My Musings, where I share insights that have impacted me, thoughts on personal growth, and actionable strategies to help you navigate career and life transitions.

Today: Asking “What Else Would I Do?” Closes More Doors than it Opens

You’re Asking Yourself the Wrong Question… 

Over the years, many friends of mine, as we’ve commiserated over what we’re doing with our lives, have said, “Yeah, I mean—this is not really what I want to be doing with my life. But what else would I do?”

Then they went back to their drink, or food, or thoughts about how they were really stuck. Ultimately, they (and I) often felt there was no better option for us — and even if there was, we doubted we could do it well, make a good living, or maintain the comfort we’d grown used to.

All good reasons. Excuses, maybe, but good reasons.

They are also all surface-level answers to the question: “But what else would I do?”

I say “surface” because they aren’t really answers. In fact, they’re not answers at all.

They’re words of avoidance.

Why We Avoid Exploring Options

When we ask ourselves, “What else could I do?” we don’t really want to know the answer.

Sure, we know we could be a barber, or a racecar driver, or maybe even a doctor or artist. But then, almost immediately, we dismiss those ideas as unrealistic.

• “How could you be so ridiculous to think such a thing?”

• “You? Doing THAT? That’s crazy talk.”

And so, we shift from asking what we can do to convincing ourselves of what we can’t do.

But why?

The Inner Critic: Your Biggest Roadblock

I know this spiral well because I’ve been there—and sometimes, I still am.

Take this moment, for instance, as I sit here writing this newsletter. My inner critic is loud:

• “You can’t really expect to write something good, can you, Jordan?”

• “You think you’re a writer now?”

• “Sure, you give people good advice, but to do that for a living? In a way that’s less concrete than law? Come on, stay safe.”

These aren’t answers to the big question of what else I could do. They’re excuses. They’re how my fear convinces me to stay comfortable, stuck in a loop of inaction.

Why Staying Stuck Is More Exhausting Than Change

Comfort might feel safe, but staying stuck is actually exhausting. The mental gymnastics it takes to convince ourselves we’re incapable of change, to silence the nagging “What if you could?” voice, is draining.

It’s like running on a treadmill while insisting you’re too tired to move forward.

So, what can we do about it?

Break Free

1. Recognize the Inner Critic for What It Is

That voice in your head? The one saying, “That’s not realistic” or “Don’t be ridiculous”? It’s not an all-knowing truth-teller — it’s just fear talking. And, sometimes, not every voice is welcome. In fact, this might be one of those voices that you can tell to F*** Off. 

2. Give Yourself Permission to Explore

Exploration doesn’t mean overhauling your life overnight. It means asking, “What if?” and following that thread.

• What if you took a course in something you’ve always been curious about?

• What if you called someone in a field you admire?

• What if you carved out 30 minutes a day to work on a passion project?

You don’t have to decide everything right now. Just take the first step or, as David Whyte calls it, the “close in” step. See what happens.

3. Focus on Movement, Not Perfection

Getting it “right” isn’t the point. The point is movement. Curiosity. Allowing yourself to imagine that life could look different—and maybe even better.

A Practical Exercise to Get Unstuck

If you’re stuck in the “What else would I do?” loop, try this:

1. Make a list of things you’ve always been curious about, no matter how impractical they seem.

2. Ask yourself, “What’s the smallest step I could take toward one of these?”

3. Take that step. Not because it’s guaranteed to lead somewhere amazing, but because the act of moving is liberating in itself.

The life or work you want might not be obvious from where you stand right now. But it’s out there — you (and I) just have to take a step at a time to get there.

So, when you ask yourself, “What else would I do?” don’t treat it like a dead end. Treat it as an invitation to explore, to move, and to discover what might be possible. And when the inner critic inevitably pipes up, trying to keep you in that safe, familiar place, acknowledge it. Smile. Thank it for its concern. Then tell it to F*** Off and take another step anyway.

Want More?

I work with people and teams to confidently meet change at work and in life; to foster cultures of mentorship; and, to hone and develop soft skills to create better leaders. Through that work, folks uncover their deeper purpose, navigate challenging transitions, and answer the call to vocation. 

If you’d like to explore what’s coming up for you, get in touch.

I hope this week’s edition has been helpful. See you next week.