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Welcome to My Musings, where I share insights that have impacted me, thoughts on personal growth, and actionable strategies to help you navigate career and life transitions.

Today’s Musing: Decision-Making Is Complicated - But Not for the Reasons You Think

Why Decisions are So Hard

I spend a lot of time considering what it is I do, exactly. It’s hard to define - sometimes it feels broad, other times narrow. And yet, I feel compelled to define it.

Which requires me to make a number of decisions.

That’s challenging.

Interestingly, though, this is also what my clients want to work through with me most often.

People come to me with all sorts of dilemmas:

• What should I do for work?

• Why don’t I like what I’m doing now?

• How do I know if I’m on the right track?

• What should I do to excel in my field or business?

At their core, all these questions revolve around one thing: decisions.

Making decisions is tough. Really tough.

And it’s hardest when the stakes feel high, or when we’re making decisions about the things we care about most:

• Career

• Marriage

• Relationships

What’s interesting is that these big, life-changing decisions often show up at predictable moments. Mid-career shifts. Major life transitions. Points where we realize we’re not happy or fulfilled.

But knowing a decision is coming doesn’t make it any easier to make.

Some people take the approach of saying: “It probably won’t matter much in the end, so just go with what feels right for now.” And to an extent, that’s true. If you’re deciding what to have for lunch or which car to buy, how much will it really matter in five years?

But what about the decisions that could truly change the trajectory of your life?

These feel different. And because they feel so important, we often agonize over them, leading to - yes, you guessed it - no decision at all.

Lesson 1: The Act of Deciding Is More Important Than the Decision Itself

Here’s the first lesson I’ve learned: The act of deciding is more important than the decision itself.

Why? Because decisions create motion and momentum. And momentum is the only thing that gets us unstuck.

But that doesn’t solve the underlying dilemma: Even if I make a decision, how do I know if it’s the right one?

Hindsight can answer this question, but we want to feel confident at the moment of decision, not later.

In my experience, confidence in decision-making comes down to who you are - your tendencies, patterns, and preferences - not just how much data you collect.

Susanne G. Scott and Reginald A. Bruce’s research breaks decision-making into five distinct styles:

1. Rational: Logical analysis and systematic evaluation.

2. Intuitive: Gut feelings and instincts.

3. Dependent: Seeking advice and guidance from others.

4. Avoidant: Delaying or evading decisions.

5. Spontaneous: Quick, impulsive decision-making, prioritizing speed.

Most of us aren’t just one style. Instead, we tend to lean on certain approaches in specific situations.

Take me and ordering dinner, for example. I’m intuitive but also dependent on what others want. Maybe I could lean more into my intuition and decide: “We’re having sushi tonight.”

Understanding your dominant style can help you catch yourself when your habits - like overanalyzing or deferring to others - get in the way.

Lesson 2: Knowing Your Style Adds Confidence to Your Decisions

Data and research are helpful, but they only go so far. Recognizing your dominant style is often more useful than collecting endless information.

Let’s go back to the sushi example. I might approach food orders intuitively but take a rational approach to work decisions. If I were weighing a new job, I’d probably analyze factors like compensation, work-life balance, job title, and commute distance.

This shows that my decision-making style isn’t fixed. It adapts based on the situation and the stakes involved.

Scott and Bruce’s research echoes this idea. They note that situational factors - like stress, time pressure, or complexity - can force us to adapt. Rational thinkers might lean on intuition when time is tight. Avoidant types might engage more actively when deadlines loom.

While adaptability is important, knowing your tendencies can add reliability to your decision-making process and help you spot potential blind spots.

Lesson 3: When All Else Fails, Trust Your Gut

Here’s the kicker: Whether we realize it or not, intuition plays a role in all our decisions.

Gary Klein’s Recognition-Primed Decision (RPD) model shows that experts often make decisions by recognizing patterns and drawing on past experiences. In high-pressure situations, we rely heavily on intuition - because there isn’t always time for exhaustive analysis.

There is only so much use deliberation and data collection can have. While they are important, trust that your intuition is almost certainly guiding your decisions on a fundamental level.

When you’re really, truly stuck, remember: You can trust your gut. Your intuition reflects a lifetime of experience, and it’s often more reliable than we give it credit for.

Most people don’t yet know how to truly hear their gut when it’s speaking. But with practice, you can start to tap into that “other center of information” and factor it into your decision-making processes in a whole new way.

So, What Do You Do Next?

(See what I did there?)

When your next major decision comes along, try these three steps:

1. Understand Your Style: Spend a few minutes at the end of each day reflecting on decisions you made. (And yes, you made decisions today - even small ones, like what to eat for breakfast or which route to take to work.) Look for patterns and ask yourself how you can use those insights for bigger decisions.

2. Check In with Your Body: Beyond logic and emotion, notice how a decision feels physically. Whether you call it your gut, intuition, or body sense, alignment between your head, heart, and body often signals the right choice. Start taking steps to get to know your gut better - that way, when it speaks to you, you can hear it.

3. Don’t Overdo It: Take the time you need, but notice when deliberation stops serving you. At that point, decide. Most decisions aren’t permanent, and even the “wrong” choice will teach you something.

Decisions create momentum. And momentum is what moves us forward.

Need Help with Your Next Big Decision?

Navigating career transitions, fostering mentorship, and building leadership skills can be challenging - but you don’t have to do it alone. I work with individuals and teams to uncover purpose, tackle transitions, and confidently approach life’s pivotal moments.

Whether you’re making a tough decision or simply feeling stuck, let’s connect to explore your next steps. Together, we’ll create clarity, momentum, and confidence for what’s ahead.